Lifelessness

Rest in peace, my little Bijou. I miss you so much. :(

Winter in the mountains

In my contemplative thoughts these past few days, I sat in my chair wondering how I ended up here. I drank my tea, and stared in a dream-like gaze upon my room: "Here," I said, "in this state of bewilderment, of limbo, and of content." So many contradicting feelings and assumptions that pull on my insides like the moon tide.

I'm overwhelmed. I've always imagined that the root of all my troubles is the idea that I was somehow placed in the wrong state, the wrong country. When I was being filed and sunk down through the tube for delivery, the postal people handling my delivery sent me to the wrong destination. Maybe it was France, maybe it was Scotland. Or maybe it was somewhere in New England. Anywhere but here.

Living in Virginia has given me so much discomfort, so much irritability, that I would never want to come back once I get out of this place. I should never have been surrounded by the sun or its heat. I was meant to bare the frigid winds of the north, and be inspired by it.

But sometimes I think twice. These mountains are quite breathtaking. The frost and snow remind me of everything I long to be in.

Pig

Sometimes, I really hate my boyfriend, and everything else that involves him. Hmph.

Revenge on the hauty pigs of materialism.

I'll take your selfish, wealthy, throne-bearing attitude and shit on it.

Bijou!

(sorry the focus is bad on this one)

So this little darling is Grisha's 21st birthday present to moi! Her name is Bijou (french for jewel) and she is a spunky little creature. Sometimes I have to admit that Grisha does in fact spoil me.

SNOW BIRTHDAYS!

SNOW!
Originally uploaded by jessicaroxanne atienza

Salut! Today on the anniversary of my birth, I turned 21. However, I got an early birthday present from the weather gods, who brought me snow. Thanks, weather gods. You know how much I love snow. I really get so childishly excited over it.

So, lots of updates! Had a wonderful Thanksgiving (I hope you all did too), played in a few shows and a few gigs, made money, made love, made food, did VERY well in my string jury this morning (a nice start to my day), and started drinking at 1030 am. I got pretty hammered, took a nap with my boyfriend around 4, and I woke up at 7 still pretty drunk. I actually had a dream reliving my morning birthday bar-hopping extravaganza, except I bought 3 boxes of pizza -- and I dreamt of CHEESE. So I went and bought 3 boxes of pizza and ate it with my friends, had some more tasty German beer, baked some chocolate chip cookies, and talked to my family and my best friend from home. This is, needless to say, the best birthday I've ever had.

I love my family, my boyfriend, my friends, and chocolate. I'm grateful for all the things in my life. :D