The end of an era

This is the last week of school, and then exam week! I'm so excited to get this semester over with, I honestly feel that this has been the least creative or productive semester yet. Sure I did grow a lot as a musician and artist since I had so much time on my hands, but never has my life been so dull and uninspiring.

My jury is next Monday at 3... I think I'm ready, and I'm not all that nervous. However, I can only speak for myself as of now, not for me-when-I-am-standing-in-front-of-the-string-faculty-at-my-jury self. You know?

Then I have three exams, but only one I really have to worry about. =\ I just hope I do well in this music industry course on legal aspects. It's such an intensive course!

Anyway, Grisha just bought a bottle of wine, so I am off to his place for that, good music, and cheese. :D Ciao ciao!

Nutella

Mmm how I love the taste of this wonderful hazelnut chocolate spread. It always makes me feel better, when I am sad and low, or when I am happy and just need that extra "oompf". Cheers a la Nutella!

I am happy now. Grisha and I are happy. Everyone is happy. Now go out and love everyone.

Enough

I have a great life: I have a wonderful family who supports me, friends who are there for me, two stable jobs that provide me with sufficient funds, and a fancy 3rd floor apartment in downtown. I am a struggling but still successful musician with so much ahead of her and so much potential. I have a wonderful boyfriend who is nothing but good to me, takes care of me, loves me, and treats me the way every girl should be treated.

... Yet even though I seem to have it all, it always seems that it is never enough. There is always something missing. Am I to be reduced to nothing but a constantly unsatisfied creature, who only seeks but fails to get rid of the hateful and negative thoughts that plague her? I don't know what is wrong with me; I always ruin everything. In spite of all the things in my life that yield positive results, I can't seem to avoid the only conclusion I've consistently known -- that I hate this life. I need more of something, a tangible object to fulfill my desire, but I can't find it. Where are you, what are you, why haven't I found you yet?

So the question is that despite leading a normal, ideal lifestyle that everyone seeks as an adult, while being exactly where you imagined yourself to be, is the grass really greener on the other side?

Romans 13:10

I want to wash myself of all the hatred I've ever felt throughout my cognitive life. I want to rid my body of the negative energy that flows through my soul, and replace it with love -- love that conquers, love that teaches, and love that shows. I want to share this love and be ever wiser, ever kinder, and ever more the grateful being who drinks from life itself. Let me be of the universe, and see all with my new and loving eyes, to walk the earth without my previous disposition of loneliness and bitter impulses. You, my brother, my sister, my lover, my friend -- you deserve to love and be loved, and to learn what I have learned, and that is that I am found, I am new, and I am love.

No food in my kitchen

I'm too broke to buy groceries. Also, it is too cold outside and I am way too lazy.

Check out this unicorn necklace made by Peaches Geldof of Nylon mag. All out of recycled material; I think it will become the new sparrow.

I had a pretty bad day at work. My boss is a contradicting tyrant.

I think I'm getting sick. ={

Geek Love

I am staying up studying for this huge midterm I have tomorrow in my Legal Aspects of the Music Industry class. Quite nervous, I'm just afraid that I'm not getting the material as thoroughly as I should be, although I feel like I know it fairly well through common sense as I review it. Oy vey.

Anyway, I was just looking at Grisha while he was sleeping and I just realized that I am quite possibly dating one of the biggest dorks on the planet. :D I'm in love with him. He came home plastered drunk, talking about space ships and gobbling up a ginger tea packet. *sigh* What am I going to do with this man?

I have sketches and collages I want to share with you all soon...