Hot chocolate

I am currently painting my nails and drinking hot chocolate in my underwear.  Life is really good.  =)

I haven't painted my nails since the summer.  I've neglected my own grooming because I've been too busy to take care of myself.  The smell of the chemicals tickles my nose because it's so strong.  

I decided I hated Great Eastern Resorts, and after working there for 2 days I just stopped coming... Luckily I immediately got a job at the Blueridge Mac store here, which is an authorized Apple specialist!  I feel like I'm going to be much happier here, largely because I get to play with Macs all day and it's a small shop run by an awesome power-bitch-manager.  I love her, I really do.

I am going back to VB for a few days to celebrate Christmas with my family.  I was having a very frustrating morning and was yelling obscenities of all kinds, and when my mom called me in the middle of it I suddenly felt better after hearing her voice.  It's amazing how much we need our family, no matter how much we try to deny it or get away from them.  They are the home that you have known all your life and are thus capable of being the basic root of happiness.

Anyway, my mom called to ask me what she should get for Grisha and his family.  O_O  Whoa!  I think my parents are beginning to like him.  They never warmed up to any of my brother-in-laws so quickly (they're still not even big fans of any of them) but I think it's safe to say that my parents are beginning to fancy Grisha.  After all, his parents practically ADORE me.  

Working for the man

I start working today for Great Eastern Resorts (at Massanutten) at 4.  I cannot wait to start making money so that I won't have to take from my parents any longer... my poor parents, how they are still burdened by me.  

Good news!  Grisha (as well as his brother, Sasha) have officially been hired as ski instructors for Massanutten resorts!!  Congratulations, now I can finally learn to ski for FREE.  :D  And plus, all three of us now work for Massanutten.  Funny, no?

Finally, freedom

I have finally completed one of the most challenging semesters I've had thus far at JMU.  Finals week was surprisingly (and thankfully) successful!  I think I did very well on my jury, and I thought I was going to sound awful and unprepared, but suddenly as I stood in front of the string faculty and played some Bach on my viola I believe I sounded just about heavenly.  First sign of relief.

Then, I spent all Tuesday studying for my music history final Wednesday morning, and after listening to five centuries worth of historically changing musical works from Léonin to Corelli, I had given up and could not care anymore about Franconian notation or motets and sonatas.  I felt very confident that I knew the material, and my confidence did not fail me.  I got a 95.89% on that final -- which is unheard of, not only for a music history final, but for a test given by DR. GIBSON?!!  Yes!!!  Now why couldn't I have done that all semester?  

My last final was on Friday (8 AM!) for my English Lit. (from Romantic to Modern) class.  I think that after a semester of stress and hard work I couldn't bring myself to reread any of the material covered in class, so I just reviewed the authors in hopes that the excerpts on the exam would reveal enough about the author.  And I was right, because I didn't struggle at all; although I did get an 86%, I was way above the class average (78%).  As much as I enjoy the works of Coleridge, Conrad, and Larkin, I think my head would quite possibly explode if I had forced myself to study anymore than I did (I gave up at 12:30 AM Thursday night).

So, all that said, I can now relax, put up Christmas decorations, bake cookies, and reread the Dharma Bums...

If only I didn't have to start working tomorrow.  =(

20 laps around the sun

Today is my 20th birthday, and needless to say, it went stunningly well.  Aside from financial worries, 4 hours worth of practicing, and the burden of studying, I have had a wonderful birthday so far.  Grisha made me cheesecake tonight, and we lit up a number 8 candle since that was all we had... Ha.  I must be one of the luckiest girls in the world, because how many girls have boyfriends who can make them delicious cheesecake?  Not many that I know of.

Last night before the clock struck 12, Grisha and I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's together at my place... I don't think he appreciated it as much as I do (it's one of my favorites), and I think he only watched it because it was what I wanted to do and it's a classic, but he enjoyed it enough.  As midnight hit, he gave me my present, which was a genuine mixtape of tunes, as well as a CASIO cassette player to play it.  I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this man.

I don't really get festive for such occasions as my birthday.  I don't feel any different, really.  Birthdays are just like any other day, only I'm a day older and closer to my death.  If one day of being a year older is cause for celebration, why can't everyday be a day of celebration?  After all the days alone deserve their own right for which to be celebrated.  

The older I get (and let's face it, 20 years old is not at all old), the lazier and less interested I become with being carnivalesque.  I'm satisfied with a few cigarettes and good beer on a porch or in the living room.  Everything else is just living in excess.

Poor and happy

I am dirt poor, have no money in my bank account (I probably have a negative balance), and have no job.  My rent is due this week, as well as a payment for October's rent, which did not go through as I thought.  I have no money to buy Christmas presents, groceries, material goods, books, sheet music, or a new sewing machine.  In spite of my troubles, I am happy.

Money has no value.  Its influence on the state of man is only finite.  It is arbitrary; it cannot tell me who I am or what I will be.  It cannot dictate my path or shape my character.  In ten years or even next year I may be in so much debt, but in no way will it change my temperament.  Of course I may be frustrated and stressed, but I am happy, and a happy state is a difficult height to come down from.

Although the world is indifferent to personal comedies or tragedies, perhaps it is best to accept that I should be indifferent to the world as well.