Old friends, same old things

Outside my window, everything is beautiful.

See all the fractals of imagery, nature, and light? 

My old roommate (whom I've been friends with since the middle school years) came over last night after our viola master class, which was a huge personal disappointment for the both of us.  We cried, laughed, shared stories and drank, while getting ready for our friend's birthday party.  It reminded me of all the times last year in the dorm when we would just get dolled up for no reason, putting make up on and sharing ridiculous outfits.  

By the way, the theme was Nerd Party...

Getting out

Grisha is currently in the shower. He brought me Glühwein and it's delicious. I can recall winter just by smelling it (he put lots of cinnamon in it).

So I decided I'm really not happy here in Harrisonburg, and it's the reason why I've been feeling so displaced as a musician and artist lately. I just don't know if JMU is the right place for me, or if it will teach me the things I really want to learn. Uncertainty is painful! I just don't fit in right here; it's almost as if you've been robbed of any of the talent you had because of that disillusioning moment when you've realized you're really unhappy. I love Harrisonburg and the people that populate it, but my schooling here makes me feel out of place. I find so much folly in the people of the SOM and I have chemistry with very few musicians here. I feel like my teacher has lost faith in me. I'm constantly battling the Business Office with my finances, which adds unnecessary stress. JMU has just become less and less enjoyable for me in just 1 and a half years. Perhaps I should allow it more time.

On a lighter note, I took a few polaroids late Sunday afternoon because it was absolutely gorgeous outside. When I walked outside of my apartment building I looked up and saw this view of the tree that I've seen from outside my window (I live on the 3rd floor), but for some reason I've neglected the view from below. Naturally I was taken aback and thought I should keep a record of its beauty.

This is how lonely Harrisonburg gets on a late and quiet Sunday afternoon. That is actually the parking lot and train tracks behind my apartment building. It looked so desolate and yearning for reconstruction, but I think it's perfect the way it is.

At least I get to wake up to this in the morning. :)

Sick, cold, and alone...

... right now.  I'm waiting for the tea kettle to whistle so I can make myself some ginger tea + honey and drown in my blankets.  I'm really tired; I tried going out to a show tonight but I was too cold and congested and realized once I got to the party that I was going to be gone soon.

I got off work particularly late tonight.  I don't think I've ever been this exhausted for such a long amount of time.  Excess school and two jobs are beyond what I can handle right now.  I wish I could afford to cut back on some of my obligations but I guess that option is not in the cards for me these days.  Hopefully once I move out of this single apartment and into Camelot (a house with my closest girlfriends here!) I'll have it a lot easier, since my expenses will be a lot lower than they are now.  Then I won't have to work as hard.  ;)

I made the mistake of drinking a small amount and smoking a large amount while being sick and cold tonight.  Blech!  It made me feel worse.  It doesn't help that I think I may have added too much honey to my ginger tea, which is almost sickening me because of its strength and sweetness.  Speaking of sweets, I ran out of red bean motchi last week, and have a serious craving for it right now.  I always have perfect timing no?  

I'm getting sleepier.  Grisha needs to come over soon, wasted or not, so I won't sleep alone tonight!  I'm meeting his parents tomorrow...  T-T

Bicycle wreck

 

 

Yesterday I got into quite a wreck on my bicycle while on the way to the thrift store with Collin.  We were riding down Main St, and as soon as I saw the train tracks and thought for a millisecond about all the horror stories of how people have wrecked on them, it was too late for me to do anything about it, and my poor road bike skidded on the road and fell through while I was projected forward and ate pavement.  I ended up skinning my knee and getting a shiner and a cut by my left eye, along with some other glorious cuts and bruises here and there.  Surprisingly it wasn't as worse as I thought it was when it all happened.  I thought my face got roughed up much worse than it did.  And most importantly, the bike is okay.

In spite of all that, Collin and I were able to thrift successfully.  Afterwards, Grisha came over to take care of my wounds.  :)